Why Won’t God Answer My Prayer?

This post is written with the assumption  the reader has experience receiving answer to prayer, is familiar with the workings of the Spirit, and is currently living in a manner where they can expect to receive divine guidance through prayer.

No message is repeated more times in scripture than the simple thought: “Ask, and ye shall receive” (D&C 4:7). Elder Boyd K. Packer, Ensign, Nov. 1979, 19.

I have experienced this dimension of prayer many times. Receiving answers to prayer has been the most sublime experiences of my life—no other life experience even comes close. However, that’s not the end of the story. I can also relate to the following experiences:

When Joseph Smith prayer’s remained unanswered, he pleaded with the Lord, saying, “Oh, God where art thou?” D&C 121:1

When the Savior of the world was on the cross the scripture says, “And about the ninth hour Jesus cried with a loud voice, saying, Eli, Eli, lama sabachthani?  that is to say, My God, my God, why hast thou forsaken me?” Matthew 27:46

The Pain from Unanswered Prayers can be Exquisite

For those who are striving to follow Christ one of the unnerving challenges we are required to grapple with in our discipleship is that some of our prayers seem to go unanswered. This can be a source of frustration, as well as a challenge to our faith. When this happens we can feel betrayed, and if we let these kinds of feelings take root we can unintentionally invite the adversary into our lives (2 Nephi 32:8) and he will teach us not to pray, whispering, “God won’t answer your prayers because…” and then proceed to lie to us.

I think one of the unfortunate things we do in the church is to share our experiences with answered prayers and avoid relating our experiences with “unanswered prayers”. Telling only one side of our experience with prayer can create the impression that all our prayers are answered. This can create unrealistic expectations in others, especially the youth.

Don’t get me wrong, I’m not suggesting we make an elaborate effort to relate tales of unanswered prayers, but I do feel we need to “sprinkle” a few examples into our discourses.

Following are a few thoughts from church leaders regarding their ideas on dealing with unanswered prayers:

“Very often over the years I have had peace and patience knowing He was there and would not forsake me even though some prayers were going unanswered.” Marvin J. Ashton, “He Is There,” New Era, Oct 1993, 4

“I recognize that, on occasion, some of our most fervent prayers may seem to go unanswered. We wonder, ‘Why?’ I know that feeling! I know the fears and tears of such moments. But I also know that our prayers are never ignored. Our faith is never unappreciated.” Russell M. Nelson, “Jesus Christ—the Master Healer,” Ensign, Nov 2005, 85

“Instead of worrying or grumbling that our prayers have gone unanswered, we should delight ourselves in the Lord. Be grateful. Be happy. Know that the Lord, in His time, will bring about all your righteous desires—sometimes in ways we predict, sometimes in ways we could not have possibly foreseen.” Joseph B. Wirthlin, “Improving Our Prayers,” Ensign, Mar 2004, 24–31

“Sometimes when a prayer appears to go unanswered, it is because it is being answered in a greater way than we can perceive. When we face these trials, we must double our faith lest we lose it.” Gene R. Cook, “Faith in the Lord Jesus Christ,” New Era, Oct 1982, 4

“Even in decisions we think very important, we sometimes receive no answer to our prayers. This does not mean that our prayers have not been heard. It means only that we have prayed about a decision that, for one reason or another, we should make without guidance by revelation.” Dallin H. Oaks, “Eight Ways God Can Speak to You,” New Era, Sep 2004, 4

Counsel Me Not

The Lord knows all things and always has our eternal well being in mind, even though we may not be able to discern the reasons our prayers  appear unanswered (2 Nephi 26:24).

Jacob teaches this saying:

Wherefore, brethren, seek not to counsel the Lord, but to take counsel from his hand.  For behold, ye yourselves know that he counseleth in wisdom, and in justice, and in great mercy, over all his works. Jacob 4:10

Those times when my prayers have remained unanswered, or took so long to answer, that I felt ignored; I’ve  mustered my spiritual resources by telling myself that God knows all things, and then I do my best to leave it there and busy myself by “waiting on the Lord”.

Major Mistakes

I recently read something Elder Boyd K. Packer said regarding the difficulty saints have when they rely on the Lord and He seems to be absent:

“You cannot make a major mistake without having been warned. I will make a promise to you, and you can test it. I have no hesitancy in making this promise… As you move forward in life, you cannot make a major mistake, any mistake that will have any lasting consequence in your life, without having been warned and told not to do it. It cannot be done in this Church. It doesn’t work that way.” Seeking Revelation and Spiritual, Experiences, Meridian Magazine.

I take comfort in this promise!

Conclusion

Prayer is our spiritual lifeline! We must keep the channels of communication open with our Heavenly Father at all cost, including learning to accept and understand the place “unanswered prayers” have in His plan for us.

I like what Elder Gene R. Cook said above, “When we face these trials, we must double our faith lest we lose it.”

Elder Cook knows what he is talking about. I have great respect for his words and the way he dealt with very difficult circumstances he and his wife were called upon to endure. Click here to see what I mean.

I know the Lord hears and answers prayers and when we are in the thick of a struggle with the Lord as we seek His will and it appears it isn’t available, I hope we will recall answered prayers and continue on in our struggle faithfully dealing with our “fears and tears”, but allowing the Lord to lead us as He sees fit—after all,  he is our Father.

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Comments

Sharon
Posted on 13th December, 2008

thanks Jared.I was having this exact crisis in my life at this very time and I was getting frustrated because I felt like the Lord was silent.

I’ll take that quote to heart…”double our faith lest we lose it”

I appreciate your site.
sharon

Jared
Posted on 13th December, 2008

Sharon–thanks for coming by and sharing your feelings and thoughts.

SilverRain
Posted on 15th December, 2008

I think as a corollary to this is the real fear underlying the agony one feels when a prayer is unanswered. It’s almost impossible to not wonder if the reason is the person’s own unworthiness. The real yearning for an answer is not for the answer, but for reassurance that one is still loved and in the grace of God.

Jared
Posted on 15th December, 2008

SilverRain–My wife and I just returned from a funeral viewing and we discussed the topic you commented on while we made the two hour drive.

I think you hit the nail on the head. Each of us want to be reassured as well as to receive guidance in the area we’re praying about. Sometimes I think it’s the reassurance part we remember long after we forgot about what we petitioned the Lord for in the first place.

By the way, while I was at the viewing I felt the Lord’s Spirit in abundance. I didn’t know the man well, my wife’s relative we haven’t had a lot of contact with, but I’m sure glad we went. The Lord’s Spirit was reassuring those who came that their is life after death.

Tammy
Posted on 1st January, 2009

Thank you so much for this site. I have been praying for months that I lose weight, and haven’t dropped a pound. I was becoming angry at God, as I felt He was ignoring me, and thought my prayers were basically useless, thus causing me to just stop praying about my desire to lose weight.
I honestly feel that God led me to this site, and it has sure opened my eyes as well as my heart. My father in heaven will eventually answer my prayer on His time. I will wait patiently, knowing that I am loved and in the grace of God. My faith will now double,or triple, lest I lose it. Thank you again, and Happy new year!!

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