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My purpose in relating sacred experiences is to shine a light on the doctrine of Christ as it is taught in the Book of Mormon.
When I called upon God—as a worldly teenager—going through Army basic training in preparation for war, I never considered that my prayer would be answered by a “messenger” coming to my bedside. From that experience I learned that there are two opposing powers that have influence; one for good, the other for evil—and they both manifested themselves that evening.
Fast forward six years, I am now a returned missionary, starting college, and in the midst of a crisis. I have been on my knees at every opportunity, for over a week, pleading with the Lord for a forgiveness of my sins. Then it happened, the Redeemer of mankind responded to my pleadings and forgave my sins saying:
“… I will forgive you of your sins with this commandment—that you remain steadfast in your [mind] in solemnity and the spirit of prayer, in bearing testimony to all the world of those things which are communicated unto you.” D&C 84:61
As a result of these and other experiences I can testify to the truthfulness of the doctrine of Christ. I hope others will be strengthened by visiting this blog and learning of the Lord’s willingness to leave the ninety-and-nine and rescue His lost sheep, as he did me.
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Early Years
When I was nine years old, my ward leaders told me that after I was baptized I would receive the gift of the Holy Ghost. I believed what they said. My dad was not a member of the church and my mother was inactive, but both of them at the urging of our ward leaders took me to the Salt Lake Tabernacle to be baptized.
There were about 40 people there. We were told to wait until my name was called. As we sat there, someone explained that the ordinance of baptism was sacred. A few minutes later a man entered the font and several young people were baptized, then my turn came.
I didn’t think much about the Gift of the Holy Ghost for several years, until I began to notice a “feeling” that would come to me in my deacon’s class. I don’t remember experiencing it anywhere else. I mentioned this feeling to my friends. I wondered out loud why I would feel so good after listening to a dumb lesson. I noticed that the feeling would leave me only to return again the next week. In retrospect, I believe the sacred feelings I experienced were the result of the prayerful preparation of our teacher.
I gradually lost interest in church, but I felt I was being watched over. I figured it was the same for everyone and didn’t pay much attention to it. That is, until one eventful morning when I was fourteen, as I started waking up, I took a deep breath and exhaled. Then something happened: I couldn’t inhale! I was startled, and instinctively reached for my throat. No matter what I did I couldn’t inhale a breath of air. I ran to the bathroom and looked in the mirror. I couldn’t see anything wrong. My mother saw me and in a voice filled with panic asked me what was wrong. I couldn’t answer her! I ran into the dining room and was feeling pain in my chest for the want of air. My mother was there, but she couldn’t help me. I dropped to my knees in desperation and prayed, immediately I was able to take in a life giving breath of air. It was my first experience of having a prayer answered. I realized someone was there, watching over me.
Young Adult Years
By the time I was sixteen I forgot about my earlier answer to prayer. The power of my fallen nature was in full bloom. I wasn’t very good at keeping the commandments and when I felt an inner voice telling me not do something, I dismissed it saying in my heart, whoever you are, you’re not my friend or else you would have answered my prayers about my mom and dad—so get the hell away from me. I was angry at the Lord because my parents divorced.
Driving aimlessly about town with my buddies, and going to keg parties, became my new religion. I was very active in this lifestyle, and also very empty. I eventually grew tired of my friends and my life style, but couldn’t think of anything else to do.
Rescued by the Lord
As the years went by I became more worldly, but every so often I would focus on my inner voice and wonder if what I had been taught as a youth was true. “What about the Book of Mormon and the Joseph Smith story, I would think what if these things are true?”
After being drafted into the army and facing the possibility of combat in Viet Nam, I thought more and more about what I had learned at church. One day, while in this frame of mind, I decided to read the Book of Mormon. I said to myself, “if it is true then I will change my life. If not, then I will entirely forget about religion.” I offered a prayer, telling Heavenly Father my commitment and inviting Him to bless me to know about the Book of Mormon and Joseph Smith. The next night, a few minutes after getting into bed, I received an answer to my prayer. I should say, a partial answer. I was given an experience similar to what Joseph Smith wrote about when he said, “I was seized upon by some power which entirely overcame me, and had such an astonishing influence over me as to bind my tongue so that I could not speak…it seemed to me for a time as if I were doomed to sudden destruction…to the power of some actual being from the unseen world, who had such marvelous power as I had never before felt in any being”(JS-History 1:15-16).
While I was in the grip of this power from the unseen, but now visible world. I realized the incredible hate this evil being had for me as I listened to his vulgar, threatening words. I called upon God to deliver me, and my prayer was immediately answered![1] I watched as this evil being, defeated by prayer, walked away into the night.
This kind of experience creates an instant testimony. It was a dramatic and powerful occurrence. It left no room for doubt about the presence of God and satan. But this was not a sanctifying experience in the sense of a “mighty change of heart” that would come many years later.
I’m embarrassed to say that even after the Lord provided this life-changing encounter, I returned to my old habits. It took me numerous attempts to break away from the old life style I had been living before I was able to bring some order into my life.
After a few months I decided to attend church. I also commenced to read the Book of Mormon. I started new friendships and put former, less-desirable ones behind me. It took me about three months to complete the Book of Mormon. I loved every minute of it! The Holy Ghost was with me as I read. I wrote down questions and literally hungered for the truths of the gospel. When I completed my study of the Book of Mormon, I didn’t need to ask the Lord if it was true. I knew it was true by the manifestation of the Holy Ghost that I experienced on a daily basis as I read it.[2]
I was very excited about the gospel and the testimony I’d received. I read everything I could get my hands on. I decided that I wanted to tell others about the restoration of the gospel, so I turned in my papers to serve a mission. The Lord drew very near to me at this time. It was as though I were encircled about in the arms of His love.
Missionary Call
Before I received my call, the Lord revealed to me where I would serve my mission. This was made known to me by the whisperings of the Spirit. My farewell talk at church was a spiritual treat for me and those in attendance because of the Spirit that was there. (With that Spirit present, I believe I could have recited the A, B, C’s and it would have been edifying.)
In the mission field I encountered trials and difficulties of every kind. The first part of my mission was tough, but I was determined to serve God and I worked very hard in His behalf. I would characterize my mission as being very average. At times I felt very close to the Lord; at other times it was as though I was left to myself. I learned that my ability to teach the gospel effectively, in other words, with the Spirit, was related to the receptiveness of the person my companion and I were teaching.
There was one experience in particular that taught me how the Spirit works with missionaries. We were teaching a man who was in school to become a minister. He was smart, humble, and asked difficult questions. On one occasion while I attempted to answer his questions I found myself listening—listening to myself teach. It was as though there were two minds in one body. As I was teaching him with one mind, the other mind was acting as an interested observer. It was an amazing experience that went on for more than an hour. When we concluded, our investigator was ready for baptism but wanted to talk with his family. The next time we saw him he was hostile and wouldn’t even talk with us other than to say he had lost interest. This was an example of a man who had been enlightened by the Spirit of God, then lost the light by allowing disbelief to take root in his heart and mind because of the persuasion and disbelief of his family (D&C 93:39).
At the end of my mission I felt I had served the Lord diligently. When I arrived home I was tired, but thankful to have my mission behind me. My homecoming talk was a dud. I wondered at the difference; why was my farewell talk so uplifting and my homecoming talk just the opposite? I concluded that the workings of the Spirit are not easily understood, just as described in the scriptures (Ecclesiastes 11:5).
“It is Quite as Necessary for You to be Tried, Even as Abraham and Other Men of God”
I was excited about my future and about my first experience as a college student. I had been dating a wonderful girl for about a year, and we were considering marriage. I was very much in love with her, and I felt certain that she was going to be my wife. On one of those evenings when couples talk freely about their life’s experiences, I shared with her some things about myself when I had been inactive. From that time forward our relationship began to decline. Her upbringing was such that she couldn’t handle a relationship with an Alma the younger kind of guy—a church going Nephi type of guy was a better match for her. I know that now, but I didn’t realize it then, so I pushed on. By the time school started I had a serious case of heartache—extreme heartache. She was seeing another person and told me she loved me, but was also falling in love with him.
When she told me this I was angry, I even raised my fist towards heaven and using profanity swore at Lord for letting this happen. I learned later, He had nothing to do with it. Within hours, I sought forgiveness and divine help!
Remission of Sins by Fire and the Holy Ghost
I approached the Lord in prayer and within a day or two found myself experiencing a dimension of prayer that was new to me. As I poured out my soul to the Lord asking for His help, I told Him that I wanted to keep his commandment regarding marriage, and that I had found the girl I wanted to marry. I explained that we had dated for over a year and that we were temple worthy and pleaded for his help. I made covenants that I would be the best husband and father that I could be. I found myself praying for hours at a time—in fact, I couldn’t stop praying. When I wasn’t on my knees praying, prayer flowed from my heart. I was praying without ceasing. The channels of communication were open, and I knew the Lord was hearing my prayers. I had received a gift from the Lord—the gift of prayer. I lost interest in food and was essentially fasting every day and ate food only to keep my strength up. I began to lose weight. I was showing up for my classes, but I was supplicating the Lord with all my heart, might, mind, strength, and soul.
One day, while praying, a question formed in my mind that I knew came from the Lord—“lovest her more than me?” This question needed to be answered and I responded, “Lord, thou knowest I love thee, bless me to love thee more perfectly.” From this point on my prayers turned to my relationship with the Lord. I explained to the Lord that I was not going to stop praying to Him until I received an answer, and that I would accept His will no matter what it was—and I meant what I said. I thought about all my sins and pled for forgiveness. At this point, a pain entered into my heart that I cannot describe. I’d never felt anything like it before. It was intense heart-pain. Not from the heart that pumps blood, but from the heart that resides at the center of our being—the place where our fondest hopes and dreams emanate. I cried many tears and realized anew my nothingness! I understood more than ever before my unworthiness and I begged the Lord to apply his atoning blood so that I could be made clean. I desired above all things to be free from my sins.
I raised these earnest, heart-felt prayers for about two weeks. One evening as I was preparing for bed, all I could do was kneel by my bed and say a very short prayer; I was physically and spiritually exhausted. I reminded the Lord that I was going to continue to call upon Him until I received an answer. A few minutes after getting into bed in the throes of a gloomy and forlorn mood, I felt something in the room change. As I focused my attention, I realized the Spirit had entered the room and my heart. Joy replaced gloominess and sadness! It was like a refreshing breeze entering into a hot and stuffy room. I knew I was to get out of bed and open my scriptures. The page fell open to D&C 84, and I started to read at verse 44. As I read these words, I knew the Lord was speaking to me, and when I read verse 61, I knew that my sins were forgiven. I raised a silent shout of joy to my Savior!
The following Sunday while at Sacrament meeting, I received another manifestation of the Spirit. While taking the sacrament I experienced the presence of “fire.” I looked around the room to see if anyone else was aware of what I was experiencing. No one was. I wasn’t sure what had happened, but I knew it was from God. I felt peace, love, and joy, and raised my voice in prayer thanking the Lord for his great kindness to me. I felt clean and pure and extremely close to Heavenly Father.
Comforted by the Holy Ghost
My girl friend and I broke up a couple of months after this experience. I cannot describe the pain and unrest I felt, but I had told the Lord His will be done, for as much as I loved her, I loved the Lord more. I prayed that I would be able to stand up under the afflictions that came to me, and I had faith the Lord would continue to be with me in my trials.
For several nights, when my heartache was at its worst, I was visited by the Holy Ghost and learned for myself what the scriptures mean about the Holy Ghost being a “comforter.”
What can I say to you as a reader of my words to convey the least part of what I experienced? Just know that God is love and he desires to heal us from our sins. He wants to give to us the gift of eternal life! When Nephi says, “He hath filled me with his love, even unto the consuming of my flesh,” I can verify his words and bear a similar testimony with my own lips because of the experiences the Lord gave me in the days of my severest trials.
Mighty Change
I am so thankful that the Lord extended his love and kindness to me in such marvelous ways. I love the Lord because he loved me first. I can hardly believe that these experiences were given to me; I feel completely unworthy to receive these things. But then again, that’s the point, forgiveness of sins comes through the grace of Jesus Christ.
These experiences changed how I viewed the Book of Mormon. I could now identify with the likes of Enos, the people of king Benjamin, and others who experienced a remission of sins. I knew the Savior of mankind heard my prayers and blessed me with some measure of being born again by fire and the Holy Ghost.
I engaged myself in school and read the Book of Mormon with new eyes and understanding. The Holy Ghost was my constant companion in those days. I felt and comprehended things in ways I never had before. I asked the Lord to bless me to meet people who were like Nephi, and I also prayed to learn to know more about the Lord and His church. My prayers were answered in short order, and I marveled at the variety of people I became acquainted with. I learned things from them about the Lord, His prophets, and His church. They amazed me and also challenged me greatly. I realized for the first time that our church history and doctrine could challenge the strongest church-member’s testimony and even be the root cause for some members to lose their testimonies.
Dealing with the Challenge of Church History and Doctrine
I enjoyed my college experience, but my interest in doctrine and church history eclipsed anything else I was studying. Because of the many Spiritual experiences I had been given, I was insulated from the “fiery darts” of the adversary that came to me as I studied—I could not be moved. I prayed for answers to my new-found questions and the answer was always the same: we live in a fallen world and we’re here to be tried and proven, and there is opposition in all things. Be still and know that I am God[3].
Concluding Thoughts
From those days until the most recent time, the Lord has been near, but not as near as He was for the first few years after my experience with the sacrament. I can relate to what Joseph Smith said after he experienced the First Vision and was born again:
After it was truly manifested unto this first elder that he had received a remission of his sins, he was entangled again in the vanities of the world. D&C 20:5
I can say that a person who has experienced a “mighty change” doesn’t have a disposition to do evil, at least not in the same way as prior to this experience. However, it would be wrong to say that temptations and sin are no longer a factor of life. That just wouldn’t be true. King Benjamin taught his people how to retain a remission of their sins after they were born again and experienced the mighty change (Mosiah 4:26).
In the years and decades that have followed, I have been blessed with many experiences with the things of the spirit. When I have needed help, the Lord has blessed me abundantly. I have been given visions, dreams, and received the ministering of unseen angels in answer to prayer. However, I have had to struggle in the spirit and pay a price for these blessings. There have been many times I have prayed and have been unable to obtain an answer to my prayers. This is frustrating, but who am I to counsel the Lord?
If there is only one thing you remember from this account I hope this will be it: the Savior gave His life for you and He cannot extend the complete gift and benefits of the atonement to you until you offer up a broken heart and contrite spirit (2 Nephi 2:6-8). Based on my personal experiences, I have learned that offering up an acceptable sacrifice is accomplished when you plead with Him for forgiveness of your sins. When you acknowledge your fallen nature and realize your dependence upon Him (Christ) for entrance into God the Father’s presence, then you will be on the high road to fulfilling your baptismal covenant and spiritual potential. My prayer is that this will be your gift from Heaven.
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My email address is:
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1 Joseph Smith was not possessed by an evil spirit, nor was I.
2 The “feelings” I received from the manifestation of the Holy Ghost revealing the truthfulness of the Book of Mormon are difficult to describe, so I’ll borrow the following words because they are the best I know of to relate how my testimony of the Book of Mormon came to me: “And now, verily, verily, I say unto thee, put your trust in that Spirit which leadeth to do good-yea, to do justly, to walk humbly, to judge righteously; and this is my Spirit. Verily, verily, I say unto you, I will impart unto you of my Spirit, which shall enlighten your mind, which shall fill your soul with joy; And then shall ye know, or by this shall you know, all things whatsoever you desire of me, which are pertaining unto things of righteousness, in faith believing in me that you shall receive.” D&C 11:12-14.
3 There are many scriptures that essentially say the same thing. Here are a few: Alma 42:14, Abraham 3:25, 2 Nephi 2:11, Psalms 46:10.
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I’m happy to have found your blog. I look forward to reading!
I just read your testimony here and I want to thank you for it! I(and my wife) have been struggling with doubts and questions for a couple years now,and have been inactive in the church. Like you said,knowing church history and doctrine can cause some real challenges to ones’ testimony-that has truly been the case for me-but I am trying to reaffirm my testimony and get back to church again now. Your experiences here are certainly encouraging and comforting to me! Thanks!
Ernie-
Thanks for leaving a comment.
I hope you and your wife can reaffirm your testimonies; and through your efforts find a closeness to the things of the Spirit that will bring unparalleled joy into your life.
Thank you for such a compelling testimony. I hope you found a good wife. When I read in the newspaper about Mark Hoffman’s “discovery” regarding salamander, my faith was shaken for two minutes. I then reaffirmed my testimony of this wonderful gospel and moved on. Of course Hoffman was a fraud. I am thankful for my testimony and I pray I will hold it no matter any historical or modern “discoveries.”
Thank you for sharing your experiences. I have a testimony too of Jesus Christ. Your testimony brought many memories back of when I first read the Book of Mormon, when I first experienced that change of heart.
I also have had to look with some new eyes at some of the history of the church. I know that God and His Son live. I know that the teachings in the Book of Mormon led me to a change of heart. I have seen so much good in the church. I am sure that the rest will work its way out.
Thanks again.
I was moved by your account, and I’m happy that there are some of us “good guys” here, too. 🙂 I, too, have experienced the Savior’s love deeply, and have “felt to sing the song of redeeming love” with all my heart. How I would love to be able to give it to some other people I know.
I found there are some basic points here:
First, everyone tends to think that “it’s the same with everyone” —or then the other way around, in that we think we’re totally unique, and “nobody’s ever had it as tough as us”!
Second, for every Alma and Saul, there are thousands of us, who have to take one step at a time, pay our dues and go a day at a time. We’re seldom able to turn our lives around in one fell swoop.
Third, if our testimony is rooted in scripture study and prayer, some “difficult” questions about LDS history are just a white noise that may make the message a little harder to hear, but not much. Me, my children, my acquaintances, all the same.
Fourth, we need to have patience for those, who match this description (this is my personal weakness):
My gripe with this attitude is, “what Gospel have they been taught?” Surely not that of repentance and forgiveness? I never was an Alma Jr. but rather a Saul.
At 19 my life turned around from an agnostic nonbeliever (a non-observant Protestant background), when I got to know the Lord and his love through the Priesthood and the Book of Mormon. Then a decade went somewhat smoothly, and then one crisis was following another. After ten years of that, I was so exhausted that I was good for nothing. I contemplated (and halfheartedly tried) suicide, which I didn’t commit, because I could only think of how much stronger I’d be likely to feel my failure afterwards—and with no chance of “redoing” it.
One day, as I was crying, and I tried to pour out my heart to the Lord, I couldn’t get anything out. I was reminded in my thoughts about the story in Mark 9 about the father, who had brought his son to be healed. Jesus asked, “do you believe that I can do it?” His answer was: “Lord, I believe; help thou mine unbelief!” I shouted that out with all of the feeling my heart could muster.
He did hear my prayer, and although it took a long time to heal (kind of), it’s been a wonderful journey full of rich spiritual experience and bitter frustration; and it’s been wonderful! I have truly learned that for some reason, the Lord has given the controls, the “joystick” to us: We pretty much control how he can communicate; if we shut down communication, he can’t work with us much.
Just feels good to be able to share these things. Godspeed!
Thank you for your generosity in sharing your experience of coming to Christ. Your words are powerful. I look forward to visiting here again.
As you mention, sometimes the spirit is extremely close and sometimes it is far. Sometimes it is easy to get answers, and sometimes we seem to be left unto ourselves. This has been my experience as well.
My mission president once related that Heavenly Father had to remove His Spirit from Jesus on the cross, and if it was necessary to remove it from Him, then there would definitely be times in our lives when it would be removed from us as well, regardless of our behavior. He related times when he might be seeking inspiration through prayer and fasting and would get nothing; other times he would not be seeking at all, but inspiration would come to him.
Remembering this has helped me through the times when the Lord has seen fit for me to struggle to receive answers.
I appreciate you sharing your experiences.
Thanks for a good blog. You are doing much good. It is a gift to share the gospel with others and uplift and strengthen them.
Thank you for sharing your experiences. Reading them has helped me ponder my journey. I was raised in the church and have always been active. Your comments have left me thinking about being active in the church, but how active am I with my personal testimony? I have realized I need to get to know the Savior on a more personal basis instead of just going through the motions. Thank you!
Jared,
What is it about the Book of Mormon that compels you to study it more than the Bible?
Todd Beal–
My upbringing included occasionally attending the Mormon church. I heard the stories of the coming forth of the Book of Mormon through a man, a prophet, Joseph Smith. When I decided to ask God if there was anything to what I had been taught as a youth, I focused my attention on the Book of Mormon. If it were true then the Bible was true, and Joseph Smith a prophet.
I love reading the Bible, but when it comes to understanding the doctrines of Christ, the Book of Mormon far excels the Bible. I believe this is the reason the prophet Joseph Smith said that a man could get nearer to God by studying the Book of Mormon than any other book.
inspiring, as I struggle year after year to receive witness.
Thank you Jared for that explanation.
JD–
You bring up an important question: why does the Lord require you, and many others, to struggle year after year for a witness, while some receive a witness with less effort. I don’t have an answer. But one thing I feel confident saying, it doesn’t have as much to do with worthiness as many suppose. Therefore, it isn’t a matter of trying harder. In my opinion, its a matter of staying the course.
When my hopes for marriage were crushed, I thought for sure the Lord would help me find a wife quickly. After all, doesn’t He want us to be married? He did, after eight long years. She was worth the wait, but it was a great trial that I wouldn’t wish on anyone.
The Lord will have a tried people.
I like what Elder Wirthlin said about a friend of his:
A friend of mine once told me about his experience in coming to know and understand the gift of the Holy Ghost. He had prayed often and longed to know the truth of the gospel.
Although he felt at peace with his beliefs, he had never received the certain knowledge for which he hungered. He had reconciled himself to the fact that he might be one of those who would have to walk through this life relying upon the faith of others.
One morning, while pondering the scriptures, he felt something surge through his body from the top of his head to the bottom of his feet. “I was immersed in a feeling of such intense love and pure joy,” he explained. “I cannot describe the measure of what I felt at that time other than to say I was enveloped in joy so profound there was no room in me for any other sensation.”
Even as he felt this outpouring of the Holy Ghost, he wondered if possibly he was just imagining what was happening. “The more I wondered,” he said, “the more intense the feelings became until it was all I could do to tearfully say, ‘It is enough.’” The Unspeakable Gift, Joseph B. Wirthlin, April 2003 General Conference
Todd–
You’re welcome. Thanks for coming by.
Jared:
Although I am from a different branch of the Restoration than are you, and accordingly believe different things, I just wanted to say how much I appreciate your comments on Wheat and Tares. I do feel people need to get where they feel God calling them to go, and to do it now. I appreciate your voice there stressing the urgency of repentance and following the Spirit.
FireTag
Fire Tag–
It is my pleasure to be acquainted (via the internet) with you. Thanks for your kind words.
Different branches, same tree. Works for me.
Jared:
3 books you may enjoy reading.
Following The Light/ Zion a personal Quest = John pontius
The second comfortor = Denver Snuffer
Both these gentlemen have blogs such as yours.
I was very touched by all your experiences. I am having so many trials, and sometimes it is very hard to understand why? Specially when we are trying to keep all the commandments and live the best we can. How can we keep our faith alive when we experience so much pain? How can we really know if Heavenly Father listens to our prayers? I have been faithful all my life, married in the Temple, raised four beautiful children, sent them on their missions, and see my two sons married in the Temple , and now they are totally inactive , and at the same time I was diagnosed with Rheumatoid Arthritis that I can hardly move.
Thank you very much for your advise, I think you are amazing!!
Sincerely, Sandra Lima
Hi Sandra,
You left a lot of topics that I would like to respond too. First, I’m not amazing, God is.
Second, Rheumatoid Arthritis is a real pain!. I know, my wife was diagnosed with it in 2011. It took a while to get a definite diagnosis. Apparently, it takes an MIR that shows bone loss before a R Arthritis doctor will reach a conclusive diagnosis. He put her on several medications and she found some relief but was concerned about possible side effects.
We sought the Lord’s help. Found a doctor who uses diet, exercise and supplements to treat RA. The diet was 6 weeks and not a lot of fun. I did it with her. She started a Yoga class and takes a hand full of supplements every day. She stopped taking the prescription drugs months ago and is currently symptom free.
Third, I’m so very sorry about the challenges your experiencing with your children. We have also experienced the pain only a parent can know when some of our children have left church activity. We accept their decision and are staying very close to them.
We are living in a period of apostasy and I think it will only get worse. I wrote something on this subject that might be of interest to you. Click Here
Fourth, dealing with trails can be confusing for many Latter Day Saints. We’re taught that if we live the gospel we’ll be blessed. We are blessed, but we are also tried! I have found comfort when in the grip trails by reading the scriptures, particularly the Book of Mormon. In addition, I’ve found that the counsel of the prophets to serve others is a way to manage our own trials. I recently met a lady who has dealt with a staggering number of trails all her life long. She is a source of strength to me. When I feel down about my trials I gain strength from her because my trails in comparison are small.
Hi Jared, maybe I was inspired to write to you for some answers to my prayers.
Who is your wife’s doctor? I have been treated as having RA, but it never really shows in my blood, I have all the symptoms , and they put me in chemotherapy, and I couldn’t deal with every week. Now I am taking several medications like your wife, and having lots of side effects. And in the morning I can not walk.
It’s very hard to endure when we are suffering physically and emotionally. I have a wonderful family, and they are doing 40 days fasting in my behalf. How this work? Every day one member the family is fasting and praying for me, when one is finishing the other one is starting the next day.
Yesterday I went to the Temple and promised Heavenly Father, That I am going to do 100 endowments during this year. Everyday I wake up early in the morning, pray and read my scriptures before doing anything else. I m trying to do everything I can to be cure from this diseases. I love to serve others and hope continue to do that.
Please give me some advise. Thank you very much, Sandra
Sandra,
I have your email address. I talked with my wife about your situation and she said she would contact you this week.
Saundra… I might know a little bit how your sons feel, I think when you are born into the church its hard to now if the testimony you have is real, or if it is just a side affect to it being all you ever know. there is a talk you should read called” When Thou Art Converted” by Elder D. Todd Christofferson, may 2004
Only 4 months ago I had decided that I didn’t believe in the gospel, I was done.
but now I have never felt so close to the savior in my life, I truly miss him, and I cant wait for the day he will come again, I wouldn’t worry to much about your boys, We are told that every knee will bow and every tongue will confess that Christ is our Lord and Savior. I have a brother that served a mission and now wants absolutely nothing to do with the church. but I know his heart is pure and he is honest and loving, and I know that when Christ comes there is no way he will ever deny him. the main reason I wish he would remember who he is now, is so that as his trials will come, they will be much easier for him to bare.
Another thing I want to add for you, is remember that Christ felt everything you personally felt Saundra, every pain, every heart ache, every sorrow. Don’t try and do this on your own, or he will have suffered in vain. You sound like someone who is diligent in wanting to serve him, and I know he loves you for that. Just Don’t forget to trust in him. He knows you better than you know your self, he was with your for thousands and thousands of years before you came to this earth, he knows exactly what trials to give you that will make you stronger, keep that in mind. along with the love he has for you… My trials have become beautiful to me, they have made my faith stronger, they have made me a better person than I was before I had them.
(not that I’m asking for more 😉 but knowing this and trying to remember these things while in the midst of them, gives me some peace.
another thing you really should look up on You Tube is a Beautiful talk labeled Elder Busche Advice.
Sincerely Sarah from SLC, Utah
Jared,
Thanks for sharing your experiences. They give me hope that maybe I can have the same.
I really enjoyed reading about your experiences and conversion and most importantly, your experience having the baptism of fire and holy ghost. I had a similar experience like the one you described when the Spirit came into your room. I had been begging the Lord for forgiveness and after I concluded my prayer, a presence (not of this world) came into my room and filled me with indescribable joy. I felt a warmth and sort of energy that covered me my from my head to by toes. I felt bathed in His Spirit and asked that he linger longer and not go away. This occurred when I was 19 in college. Many years later, I have wondered if I had received the baptism of fire and the holy ghost. After reading your account, I don’t believe that I have. There was no fire or angels that I saw and I know I haven’t been sanctified. Thank you for being so open and willing to share your experience.
Thanks again for sharing you very personal experiences and your conversion. I wish more members who have experienced this would also share. It helps me to know where I’m at on the journey back to Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ.